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Loudy thoughts of tonight


Now it's night, it's time to sleep but as most of the people, sleeping has not come yet. It's okay, I don't mind having insomnia tonight too, maybe I need to think about a lot of things. Thinking itself is all my duty in life these days. I was going along a very long road, along that road, I faced many problems, as I was walking I was shutting off some thoughts, don't try to make me hesitate, don't think about the end and the yield, many opportunities come from no where as long as you are still going, all these things was dominating and I was satisfied with the fact that I was moving. One day, things became hard, all the things I was leaning on while moving wouldn't come to my mind anymore, all the hesitation I was postponing came along at once and forced me to stop walking. I couldn't go anymore, I just felt weakness all over my mind and my soul and consequently my body. I stopped and it was a firm and a sudden decision. I was surprised at myself that I could stop in the middle. Until now, I don't know if that was a right or a wrong decision, but I am sure that I couldn't go anymore that's why I stopped or maybe I paused the action of moving for a while! Now I am at a vacation off moving, just staying where I am, eating and breathing and most of the times over thinking. I am in the middle of no where, shall I go back to the road that I spent so many years of my life walking into? Shall I do the other things that were considered non practical all the time, a little fiction and non real deeds considering a new life of mine? Shall I do them all together? Actually I dream of doing all the things, I have this greedy thing about human to have them all and be a hero, but I also have the imperfection of the human being who can not handle many things at time. I feel like I am stuck and can't move. I also try to be positive and think that this may be part of the process. There are times when successful people get stuck, fail and get slump too. I know this and I'm trying to see myself in this dress, the dress of hope. However, I feel a little insecure, what if I stay stuck like this for a very long time longer than it should be? A lot of contradictions are trying to be the main lead of my mind tonight. This is my preview of my loudy thoughts for tonight. 

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